Confidante
by Crowlet
Summary: Originally written because I thought to give Canada-san a hug, this story stars instead a Fem!Canada crossing over to his world, where she becomes... Well, that's a secret. She wonders if she's even needed here if she's apparently not Canada... until she meets her actual nation, which starts a secret relationship that changes them both for the better. Canada x ?, erratic updates


_The beginning is quite simple._

_My origins aren't that amazing, really._

_I just closed my eyes, and another pair of eyes somewhere else opened._

* * *

**WHO?**

* * *

I go to bed quite late into the night, or early into the morning. It's not that I've been doing something important, though there are things I apparently _should_ be doing. I just do what I feel like doing, which never has to do with things others tell me I need to do, and it keeps me up late. I have lots of hobbies, though none of them have to do with interacting with others. Years of being ignored have turned me into a somewhat reclusive person well used to being alone. I hate people so much. I hate, hate, so hate the world. I love it, but I hate it just as much. It's a complicated relationship.

I'm just about the quietest, mousiest-looking twerp you can find living in Canada. I attend a decent University (I think), and despite having already made it as far as my final year I do not feel ready to take on the world yet. Even though my career plan is to do something I would enjoy, which is travelling and teaching, I feel neither confident or satisfied in this decision. But nothing else seems quite right either.

A sigh slips silently into the serenade of crickets outside. These thoughts always keep me up when they start, and they always come at night. Taking deep breaths and taking some tips from meditation, it takes a while, but I manage to calm the tempest that is my thoughts. Eventually, a curtain of black falls over my eyes, and I am gone to the world.

_.-¤-._

A pair of startlingly bright eyes open, blinking through a shower of sudden and blinding light. It's as if I hadn't slept at all. I am not a morning person at all. What is this blindness? Also, I think more sluggishly in afterthought, why is it so damn cold?!

"Nghh..." I groan as I stir, willing my seemingly lead-filled arms to move.

My eyes finally adjust, revealing to me a sight that defies all logic in me, leaving me stunned.

Whenever I'm confused about a problem, I try putting it simply and saying/writing it to myself. This is supposedly to help trigger some useful thoughts. Like a blackboard with a diagram, if you will.

"I'm in a forest. I'm lying in the snow in a forest... t-tabarnac! Il fait très froid... It's winter and I'm in a forest lying in the snow." I mutter to myself, but then emit a small distressed whine as I realize, "No, no, I still have no idea where the hell I am!"

My muscles tighten and my body springs up into a sitting position, knocking some snow off that had settled on me. The wind suddenly kicks up and I shut my eyes as blonde hair kicks up in my face. I nearly jump out of my skin thinking there is someone else right by me, or that I'm getting attacked by some yellow-furred animal...

Except, I'm the only one here when I open my eyes again... And it's only when I look down at myself that I see long, blonde locks. With shaky hands I reach for it, and dazedly run it through my fingertips. It's foreign, it's surreal, and it's definitely _not mine..._ With a gulp, I leave it be as I attempt to push myself up into a standing position.

I stumble, but I correct myself with relative ease. I am drowsy with fatigue, but at the same time I feel great. I wasn't that healthy last I checked, and this is also very different. I catalogue differences between now and before for a good half hour at least, adjusting to my new shape, before I finally start paying particular attention to my surroundings.

"How... do I find my way?" I whisper, feeling truly small and lost for the first time in a long while.

* * *

**Ten years later.**

I've learnt a lot since opening my eyes a decade ago. I came across a group of natives that seemed like they were out of another epoch of history entirely, and after playing hide and seek initially out of of fear, they welcomed me in. They fed, clothed me, and taught me how to survive. In return, I taught them simple mathematics. It seems that I either really was back in time someplace or on a different planet, world, or... I didn't recognize anything. Even after learning how to communicate with them, they told me they had no idea where my home (or people that looked like me) were.

That was really disheartening to hear, but in the struggle to survive just daily life, I was busy along with the rest of them. As I encountered wild animals I realized that I was exceedingly strong despite my size, more than a human my supposed (regressed) age should be capable of. It also seemed like my mind was clearer than before, letting me process more than I know I would've if I was still the person I used to be.

The final and most bizarre thing I found out eventually came to me as the decade turned... One of the women in the village turned to me and commented, "While I grow weary with age, you look as green as the evergreen that lasts through winter's hardships."

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"You don't seem to grow as the rest of us."

I'm different because I don't appear to be aging like they do. I don't know whether I have aged or not physically. I feel different after a decade, but that is mostly because of the drastic change in lifestyle. No longer am I secluding myself in my room and staying up late at night having early mid-life crises. My denoted role in this society in exchange for food and protection requires me to be social, to move, to be generally everything I wasn't before.

Emotionally, I still feel somewhat like the person I was before. I'm still lonely despite being surrounded by people, and I'm still as lost as ever... but, I also feel changed, like I have a purpose.

* * *

**A century later.**

Things have changed drastically. I'd left the village I'd first found a long time ago, and started wandering. Eventually, I came across pioneers that had freshly arrived. I've encountered someone very interesting. A Frenchwoman by the name of Francine Beauchamp. After coming across each other by chance several times, she somehow managed to figure out I was different from everyone else. Knowing how to speak some French myself, we got into a shaky conversation where she explained some things to me, and then proceeded to 'claim' me. Nothing dirty, mind you, but more as an adoption.

Apparently we're avatars of nations. We can appear in all sorts of different ways, but the distinguishing markers being our long lifetimes and strength.

I told her some of my story, and she was surprised however. I asked why, and she said that usually we appear at a young age with _no collection of any prior memories_. At least, she doesn't recall ever having any. If she did, she has most likely forgotten them by now. I respectfully did not ask the lady her age.

France was colonizing the land, and so she claimed me. I wasn't too bothered by this. As far as I was concerned, it was a new environment with new things to learn. I'd also been missing the luxuries of modern life for a long time now.

* * *

**Many, many years later.**

An enumerable amount of time has passed, too much for me to count. History enfolded much how I'd expected it to, sadly. Sadly being because it seemed I was back in the kind of world I was unsatisfied with when I closed my eyes for the last time in my _previous_ life.

My name is Canada, or Madelyn Winters. I used to have another name a long time ago... That is a life long passed, however.

The avatars played an important diplomatic role in international relationships. Somehow, our interactions with each other seemed to almost always reflect the people of the nation in some way. When a lot of citizens were unhappy with something, we were too. It wasn't as if we were forced to like or hate something, but it always seemed to somehow always match somehow... Thus, we were the perfect representatives for a global conference. Often a large group of us would meet, in secret as our existence was not known to the general public, to discuss global issues.

I wasn't a very talkative nation, mostly ignored, but I had my moments. More often than not, I found myself playing peacekeeper between nations... Many of the nations were prideful and easy to rile up, so fights would break out. It would be almost comical if we weren't so damn strong. Because of our strength being higher than a human's, a simple brawl could potentially turn very violent.

_.-¤-._

My 'brother' America is especially hotheaded and impulsive. He can be a good guy, I know, but sometimes he can be a real _hoser_. Lately, it has seemed to me that he hasn't been like his usual self, and I was right to suspect something. But I couldn't have predicted that the latest business he has been caught up in would lead to the crisis of today...

A covered up invasion has turned into a war disguised as a 'fight against terrorism'. One thing just leads to another and soon there are a bunch of pissed off nations wanting justice. But this 'justice' leads to an even larger war.

But it isn't until someone somewhere decides to bring out the _big guns_ that the world war quickly engulfs the planet in an uncontrollable blaze, and the only outcome is mass genocide all over the globe. Now, the population of the human race is at a whopping 600 million. Good job, everyone.

_.-¤-._

I don't even know why I'm still _alive_. I feel like I don't have the will to live, like I should've been able to help or prevent this from happening. I'm not even in my homeland anymore. Canada, being so close to the United States, is quick to be targeted. I doubt anyone is living in that toxic wasteland today. If they are, I also doubt they are human or will live long.

I'm not the only nation still alive here. Most of the humans and nations live in the continents of Australia and Antarctica (believe it or not), which managed to stay far enough from all the fighting and nuclear activity to still be hospitable.

We're all empty and tired. We try to draw strength to move on from the people still living, but it's just hard when you're haunted by the billions of souls that were extinguished and the people still suffering... mourning the losses.

I'm in my cot, ready to close my eyes again. I've spent the day doing what I've always wanted to be doing: teaching. Even though I haven't appeared to have aged much since I first came to this universe, I feel very old now as I slowly close my eyes...

I can almost hear Francine's voice in my ears, whispering affectionately, _"Bon nuit, ma petite. Fais de beaux rêves ce soir."_

And I would... reply,... "_Bon nuit, maman..."_

* * *

END CHAPTER ONE_

"Good night, little one. Have sweet dreams tonight." -Francine Beauchamp

"Good night, mama..." -Madelyn Winters


End file.
